Shifting into Second Year

Well its just me at post for the moment. Kind of interesting and a little different to experience Batouri as if I was the only white person. Jessica is coming back from the States and Jackie has now left for good (a little earlier than anticipated having qualified for interrupted service - all because of a little crazy man, but more on that later...) Being back at post and now since having crossed the half-way point, it seems completely bizarre to be saying now that everything is down hill. Merde, how did I get here? Its made me reflect on the year that has been and for the first time go back and read all the blog posts I have written thus far. Its entertaining to especially read the first months where I was wide-eyed and trying to take in everything as it came. Most of that stuff hardly garners a second glance now, which takes a bit of the fun out of it (lol, but thats me saying this now)!

In one year I have moved continents, immediately had to adjust to living with an African host family and soak up a lot of information in ten weeks, moved myself out East, and adapted to the craziness that is travel here. I have worked my way through a million sorts of frustrations establishing myself in Batouri and being one of very few people white people, and dealt with more harrassment than I can mention. Made an African house a home, think a warm bucket bath is a treat when bathing, learned to live without stable electricity or running water, come to enjoy washing clothes by hand, and just accepted that internet might never be stable as I went the first few months without and the last few with having it more freqeuent but for only 10,20, tops 30 minutes at a time. I attempted at climbing a mountain, been robbed at gunpoint(for which a scar on my elbow will always pay permanent memorial to from a dive under a table)and lost my first camera, been to London,and became a brunette - sadly for only like two months, I kind of liked it. Apparently can now carry a conversation in French without needing a dictionary as a clutch, sufficiently gone through enough electronics, and may have pulled out more hair than necessary in the process but found some work, finally. Had my house broken into and lost a second camera, been home, been to Zurich, seen a lot of things I wish I hadn't, and some how along the way unwillingly became a little wiser in the matter of that thing that beats inside all of us and the lengths it takes us. No, never the funnest being the innocent one with the most to lose. Its only a nutshell but there is so much more I can write or can't think of since they don't faze me anymore. Its been a big year of adjustments, hard to believe it can be summarized in such few words.

What's more, i've also met some of the most open, wonderful,and loyal people who have given alot of themselves to welcome and help this stranger out without expecting anything in return. Been treated to the best hospitality, been fed lots of food at dinners until my sides hurt, never not been without protection or help when I needed it, and treated to some of the most nostalgic cultural experiences. One was sharing a hearty laugh with my muslim women friends as they asked me to show them how to tweeze their eyebrows. They laughed themselves silly until there were tears from seeing themselves for the first time in the magnififed side of a mirror. Another was dancing the night away with children who were teaching me African dance moves who also personally took on the task themselves of protecting me from male derangers. Anytime anybody now sees me in Dimako (a village in the East) i'm now referred to as "la femme blanche qui dance avec les enfants". The white women who dances with children.

Now i'm already into my second and final year. Started ticking off my list of "last things at post" with the recent start of Ramadan. Having now been through the big adjustments/ frustrations the feeling is not one of crossing a finish line, but that of letting go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Its refeshing to be more relaxed at post where you do things they way you want to do them and not because its what you feel a volunteer should be doing. Any volunteer could tell you this but we all agree one must find it for themselves.

And, i've already started back at work! Taught my first associations this past weekend. I would love to tell you all they were riveted and hanging on every word. Its going to be an interesting challenge trying to convince someone who sells braised fish on the side of the road the importance of knowing your strengths and weaknesses to better market yourself. Although a guy who sells used clothing did ask me what he can do if all he sees are the weaknesses of his business. It may have been a question out of discouragement, but to see me would have been to see me with a huge smile on my face doing an inner happy dance. Where, sir, have you been all this time!? The reaction may sound mean of me, but its a good step just knowing them. And hey that's what i'm here to help them improve on. Those kind of questions will keep me coming back!

In my abscence, one of the girls in the handicapped youth group underwent surgery. Was told that when coming out of the anesthesia this 5 year old girl started repeating some english I had taught them. Saying "Hi, my name is Janelle. What is your name?" or naming off the colors, even purple which was hard for them. How can that not make me proud or pull on my heartstrings. I think this is only the beginning of long and a fruitful relationship!

So I started this blog just as a personal record for myself, it didn't matter that anyone would read this. Although several months ago I added a ticker just to see if anybody was, and turns out someone was! I'm this far in and suprising myself sometimes that i'm still plugging away at this (thank you grandparents for the encouragement on that). Amazed that i've in certain ways come to kind of enjoy this and it turns out to be a big support that people keep tuning in. So thank you. You, you, and yes EVEN you are appreciated :). Whether you've held out since the beginning or joined in along the way, stay on because there are lots more adventures to come. The real fun is just beginning!